


You Left Me Messed Up

by sasukewasameme



Series: South Park Stan Marsh Angst [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Depressed Stan Marsh, Depression, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Kyle Broflovski isn't purposely mean, M/M, Overdosing, Partying, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Self-harming Stan Marsh, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, They're high school seniors, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, they're 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:27:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27095029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukewasameme/pseuds/sasukewasameme
Summary: Stan is having a hard time living and his constant breakups with Kyle aren't helping any. The worst part? Things will only get worse.3rd person POV. Does not have a happy ending. Nothing explicitly sexual but there are dark themes. Might change it back to 'M' later.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Series: South Park Stan Marsh Angst [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976311
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Stan has the worst luck with relationships. Everyone he's dated breaks up with him multiple times only to get back together with him because they "miss him" or because he's "changed." His relationship with Kyle is no different; they've had plenty of breakups and back togethers. 

And today is one one of those. Kyle broke up with him two hours ago in the school restroom. "You need to work on getting better," he said, "and I don't think you can do that with me as a distraction." But how can he get better by himself? How will he be able to move on in life with no one by his side? 

Stan goes home and drinks away his sorrows. He considers popping Hydrocodone too but the pills he bought were expensive ($10 a pill) and he'd rather save them for as long as possible. Instead, he takes several Lexapro and waits for them to kick in. 

The drugs end up being a waste, though, because he falls asleep before the effects can kick in. Now, he just feels the aftermath of taking drugs which is admittedly also similar to being on drugs in its own way. He's shaky and it's hard to walk. 

Stan wishes he'd never fallen in love before and Stan hates himself for being so sensitive. Why does he care so much? Why does he put so much effort into relationships when all they do is hurt him? He doesn't go to school that day. He's in too much pain to get up.

The next day, he skips school too. He continues skipping school until his mom confronts him about the voice mails she's finally checked that are from his school. "Stanley. What's been going on? You haven't been going to school and you haven't been joining us for dinner." 

Stan thinks about how he should reply because he could get in trouble if he says the wrong thing but he could be taken to the doctor if he says he's been sick. Stan sighs. Sometimes, the truth is best. "Kyle broke up with me again," he says and finds the blankets he's sitting on to be very interesting.

"Oh, sweetie," says Sharon. "I'm sorry." And Stan doesn't want his mom to worry so he feigns optimism. "Don't worry. It'll be fine. I was just overwhelmed and that's why I stayed home. I've been feeling better and plan on going to school tomorrow."

Sharon hugs Stan and it looks like she feels better from what he said. "I love you, sweetie." "I love you too, mom." Randy comes in at that moment to make fun of them. "Haha. Stan loves his mo~om, Stan loves his mo~om," he sings. When he's finished, he turns around and leaves the room.

"Well, I better get back to making dinner. If you need anything, call for me." Stan nods and smiles at her to prove he's okay. The second she leaves the room, sadness fills him from talking about Kyle. Tears fall down his face and he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow but he will anyways. 

He gasps loudly, not realizing he was holding his breath and laughs at himself for making a stupid noise which makes him cry even harder because he's not actually happy. He skips dinner once again because it involves meat and he hates meat. 

He takes more sleeping pills than he's supposed to when he goes to bed.

Stan wakes up the next day feeling terrible and he has to take some pills to get high before going to school. Unfortunately, the effects don't kick in fast enough and he starts the day sober. He waits patiently for the pills to kick in and when they do, his pupils dilate and his body shakes. 

He hears Wendy speaking but ignores her. "He's doing drugs again. You can tell. Don't you care?" She asks someone. "Why does everyone keep telling me Stan's not okay? I'm not his babysitter, alright? If you're upset, do something about it instead of complaining to me," Kyle replies with annoyance.

Stan quickly glances at Kyle, hurt in every way. And Kyle's eyes fill with guilt. "Stan." But Stan gets up and leaves. He's clearly not wanted here. Which is fine, he tells himself. Although he knows it isn't. 

When lunch comes, Stan sits by himself. He doesn't feel very hungry, though, so he leaves the cafeteria early, going out to the far side of campus to smoke a cigarette where he won't get caught. Kenny joins him a few minutes later, standing while Stan is sitting. "What's been going on, man?" He asks, voice muffled behind his parka. 

Stan doesn't know what to say because there's so much that's been going on yet nothing at all. He's just been laying in bed all day doing drugs and drinking yet it feels like a whole war is going on inside his head at the same time. 

"You're on drugs," Kenny says when Stan doesn't answer. This time, Stan looks up at Kenny before quickly looking back down in shame when he meets his disappointed eyes. He's supposed to have quit drugs months ago. "Yeah..." He finally admits.

Kenny sighs sadly. "You know Kyle just wants the best for you." Stan doesn't say anything because even though he knows Kyle's intentions are good, he doesn't agree with his method of "helping" him. Kenny takes out a cigarette of his own and lights it. 

"I wish I could help you guys," says Kenny. Stan feels bad because he isn't trying to worry Kenny. "Don't worry about us, dude. Worry about yourself. You've got plenty of things to worry about already." "But I care about you guys," says Kenny.

Before Stan can reply, the bell (to signal lunch is over) rings. Stan's puts in his earbuds and pretends he's listening for the rest of his classes that day. When school is over, he goes home only to find his mother crying. It pains him to hear her cries. "What's going on, mom?" Stan asks worriedly.

"It's your grandfather, Stan. He's dead."


	2. Rumors

Stan doesn't know what to do. He wants to comfort his mom but he also wants to be alone in his head. "Are you okay?" He asks his mom. "Yeah. I'll be fine," she says through sobs. Stan eyes her, gauging if she needs him around before deciding she'll be fine and leaves to his room.

He feels shocked most of all, although he shouldn't considering how shitty life has been lately. He should've expected something like this to come and hit him. Life always kicks him while he's down. For once, instead of doing drugs to cope with the pain, he lets himself cry it out.

Last time he tried to hold it in, he almost overdosed on some pills. He involuntarily thinks of all of the memories he's had with his grandpa and starts to outright sob. He's been crying so much lately and he hates it. He wishes he'd die. He wishes God would just kill him off for being a weakling.

Stan stays locked up in his room for a few more days, getting high and drunk until Monday comes again. He hates Mondays. When he goes to his locker which happens to be almost exactly next to Kyle's, he hopes Kyle won't need to go to his locker today. 

That was a stupid hope because Stan knows Kyle gets his books in an orderly fashion by taking them out and putting them away after and before every class so it's not much of a coincidence when Kyle stands one locker away from him, getting his History book out.

Kyle notices Stan is feeling down and wants to ask him if he's okay but he stops himself, knowing he should be ignoring Stan until Stan stops ignoring him. He minds his own business until Stan drops something orange. Kyle turns around, curiosity getting the best of him.

It turns out to be a pill bottle. 

Stan quickly tries reaching for the pill bottle but Kyle gets to it before him. "What's this?" Kyle demands. At first, Stan is scared. "Nothing, Kyle." He tries to hint at the fact that Kyle holding drugs in the middle of the hall will get them both in trouble if a teacher catches them but Kyle either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

Stan's fear turns to anger as he remembers that the other day, Kyle didn't give a single shit about whether he was on drugs or not. "What, you care now? The other day, you didn't seem to give half a fuck about it." Kyle looks like he doesn't have a comeback for a minute before he goes all-out.

"Yeah. That's because I'm not your fucking babysitter. You need to grow up and stop bitching about life. There's people out there who actually have terrible lives and they need drugs to cope with it. You don't."

Stan feels sad, angry, and defensive all at the same time. He takes the pill bottle out of Kyle's hand, slams his locker, and rushes to the bathroom. He makes sure no one else is in the bathroom and blocks the door. Then, he takes out his lighter and lets the fire heat up the metal on it for half a minute. And then, finally, he presses the hot metal to his skin.

It burns. It burns so bad but he keeps holding the metal to his skin until he can no longer take it and throws the lighter down, clutching his arm painfully without agitating the burn. The seething pain slowly turns more bearable. And the emotional pain and confusion he's been having mostly dissipates. He finally gets a good look at the burn.

It's wet from pus and the skin around it is an angry red. The doorknob shakes and someone wants in. Stan gets up rolls his sleeve down over the painful wound, and unlocks it. "Hey. What were you doing in here? You busy being a fag, jacking off to your non-existent boyfriend?" Asks Cartman. 

"Shut up, Cartman." Even though he's used to Cartman's rude remarks, his words actually hurt him. Stan opens the door and leaves only to remember he forgot his damn lighter in the bathroom.

He could go back and get it but that would mean facing Cartman again. He could leave it there but what if a teacher finds it? "Oh, come on," Stan says to himself. He chooses the former. He goes back to the bathroom to grab it and luckily, Eric is on the toilet so he grabs it really quick and leaves.

Stan doesn't pay much attention to anyone the rest of the day until Craig walks up to him and asks, "is it true that you were trying to watch Cartman while he went to the bathroom?" And Stan is immediately grossed out. "No." "Oh. It's okay, Kyle; Cartman was lying," he says and sits back down.

Stan immediately connects the dots. When he picked up the lighter, it probably looked to Cartman as if he was peeking under the stall. More importantly, Kyle was upset about it? Stan ignores the thought, not allowing himself to be flattered over something that probably isn't true. 

Stan thought he was over his grandfather's death but apparently he was wrong because once his mind has waken up, that's all he can think of. He lays his head on his desk in class the whole time. He can't handle his mind messing him up.

But his mind doesn't care. At lunch, Stan goes to the far side of campus like usual and smokes. Not like usual, though, Kenny doesn't join him. And Stan wonders if he's mad at him for some reason. He hopes Cartman stopped spreading the rumor that he's gay for him.

Stan is so stressed. He breathes in his cigarette as much as he can until he coughs, trying to get that nicotine high. He doesn't care what people say. They say you can't get high on nicotine but he says that if game addicts can get high on video games then smokers can get high on nicotine.

Nicotine has always been a win for him. On one hand, it makes him feel better, even if only for a little while. On the other hand, it causes cancer and, well, he wants to die so it's all a complete win. He thinks about his grandfather who's probably in Heaven. 

Stan will join him one of these days. He doesn't know exactly when but he will. That makes him feel better about his grandpa's death because he'll see him again. Stan skips the next two classes when the bell rings and goes to his final class after listening to music outside.

In the last few minutes of class, Wendy hands him a note and has a serious look on her face. She leaves the classroom as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. When Stan leaves class and goes to his locker, he reads the note.

'Meet me by the bleachers after school tomorrow.' 

Stan doesn't have the energy to care and figures, why not? He sees a flash of green in the corner of his eye and quickly slams his locker, going home.


	3. Sleeping Pills

After school the next day, Stan meets Wendy at the bleachers. There's hardly anyone left on the campus by the time she meets him. She gets straight to the point. "You're doing drugs again, aren't you?" Stan says, "yes." His reply has no emotion. It's simply affirmative.

"Look, I know the breakup with Kyle must be hard on you but you have to try to work on getting better." And Stan feels as if everyone is repeating themselves. All people want to tell him lately is that he needs to get better and even worse, they want him to get better without drugs.

How is he supposed to get better without drugs? Drugs are the only thing that makes him happy. 

Wendy sees the confliction in Stan's face and softens a little. She truly does care for Stan. He's a good guy who deserves happiness. She tries to lighten the mood. "Kyle still loves you, you know." His face visibly lights up. She smiles. "He just wants you to get better. To be happy. He thought breaking up with you would help you sort things out but it's only made you get worse."

Stan waits for Wendy to finish before replying. "I think he's going to ask you out again but you need to try to stay clean. For him. There's more than just you in a relationship. And it hurts Kyle when you do drugs. You have to promise me you'll try to quit drugs before Kyle asks you out again."

Stan promises a promise he isn't sure he'll keep. But she did say "try to quit." Not just "quit." He can promise he'll try but no promises it'll be a success. "Fine," he says. And he wants Kyle to be happy too. He wants their relationship to work. He loves Kyle. He loves him. 

A permanent breakup would break Stan's heart and he would never be the same. He knows it would change Kyle too. They need each other in their lives. They love each other. They depend on each other a little too much and when one of them is upset, so is the other. 

Wendy can tell Stan will keep his word and try to get better. Now, as much as she likes helping people and problem solving, she always ends up getting involved and fixing Kyle and Stan's relationship and it's getting to be a hassle. She wishes them both happiness but they need to learn how to figure things out themselves.

"Good." Wendy seems satisfied. Stan and Wendy depart and Stan goes home. When he gets home, he takes a box he has in his room, puts all of his drugs and alcohol in it, and hides it away in his closet. This is the best he can do for now. He's not at the point where he can throw away his drugs yet but he'll work up to that someday.

Besides, he has his lighter. Kyle doesn't have to know about him burning himself. He can keep it to himself. He takes some extra sleeping pills, aware of the fact that taking extra pills is still drug use. But taking sleeping pills doesn't matter. They're just so he can sleep the day away.

Stan wakes up the next day feeling better because of how much he's slept. The next few days, he ends up taking sleeping pills before school. The pills make him hazy and too tired to care about the whatever was going on around him. 

Kyle thinks Stan must be really depressed, seeing him laying his head down on his desk at school all day. He doesn't know if Stan himself has noticed but he's wearing all black again. Stan clearly isn't in a good mental state. Kyle thinks about Stan all day every day. He misses him. He loves him.

But he wants Stan to get better. He takes another look at Stan and sighs. He's going to ask Stan out again. He thought leaving him would be helpful but he's clearly doing worse. When he thinks about it, he doesn't know why he even thought breaking up would be helpful in the first place. 

He just wished that breaking up with him would force Stan to open his eyes to the pain he's causing the people around him. Seeing him in pain hurts Kyle more than anyone knows. The bell rings and school is over. Kyle will ask Stan out before school tomorrow. He gets up and gets on the bus.

Stan is tired and he doesn't know if it's from the sleeping pills or from the depression. School ended an hour ago. The school day was alright. Like the usual (as of late), he was just tired all day. The days feel like they're running into each other as he dies nothing but sleep. He can tell his teachers are getting tired of it but he honestly doesn't care. 

He sleeps for the rest of the day and through the night. 

"Will you go out with me again?" Asks Kyle when he and Stan meet at their lockers. 

Stan turns around. "Of course," he says. And he hates himself for always crawling back to Kyle, unable to move on. But Kyle is the one and the only one for him. Kyle hugs him and they kiss. There's something magical about kissing Kyle. He always feels a warm happiness when he's surrounded by Kyle's love. 

"How have you been?" Kyle asks into his ear quietly. "I've been doing shitty," Stan says honestly. Kyle holds onto him tighter, "I'm sorry," he apologizes. Stan knows he's apologizing for more than just Stan's depression. "I'm sorry too," says Stan, meaning he's sorry for the fight they had the other day and for avoiding Kyle.

"It's fine," says Kyle. They smile at each other earnestly. "I missed you," says Stan. "Sorry," Kyle says guiltily. Stan shakes his head. He doesn't want Kyle to apologize when all he's been doing is trying to help him. "It's fine, dude. I understand." 

And for the first time in weeks, Stan feels like something is right.


	4. "Normal"

Everything went back to normal when Stan and Kyle got back to together. But something is wrong, Stan thinks. Even though they're back together, he still wants to die. It's like a part of him that was missing is back, yet he's still a miserable soul.

He feels bad for still being miserable even though his boyfriend's back. Kyle does what he can to help Stan out with his depression. He goes so far as to find positive quotes every time he sees Stan down, something that takes more energy than you'd think. 

Stan doesn't know why he thought his depression would go away the second Kyle asked him out again but he berates himself for thinking so. 

He sits in his room, feeling particularly down. Thoughts of suicide fill his mind and relapsing would hurt Kyle less than committing suicide so he debates doing drugs. But his mind is persistent and he doesn't want to give up yet.

There's only one other thing he can do to solve this problem: self-harm. He hates the words "self-harm" but there's no other way to describe how he hurts himself. He feels alone in this. He's seen girls and guys with self-harm scars before but he has no friends who have. He has no friends who can relate to this. 

He's alone in this.

Stan rolls up his sleeve, takes out his lighter, and lights the lighter to make the metal on it seering hot. Then, with the lighter still lit, he takes a deep breath. He lets the fire die down and after another deep breath, he presses it to his arm. 

He gasps deeply from the pain. "Shit," he says to himself. It burns so bad. It's something you wouldn't understand unless you, yourself experiences it. The pain is hard to explain aside from the fact that it burns. 

Stan does his usual routine of taking the metal off his arm when the pain becomes too unbearable and drops the lighter to the floor, gripping his arm that's in pain. After the initial bout of pain goes away, he sighs and just thinks. Not good or bad thoughts. Just thoughts. It's like he's high. 

The burn from yesterday is scabbing now and the new burn is a pinkish red. He used to burn himself in middle school with erasers. One day, he upgraded from an eraser to hot metal that came from a lighter. Burning himself with hot metal is more painful and more damaging than giving himself an eraser burn.

Stan's phone vibrates and his passing thoughts turn more solid. He picks up his phone to check who it is. It's Kyle. 'Wanna stay at my house tonight?' And, of course he does. He gives a small smile and replies. 'Sure. Be there in ten.'

Sheila Broflovski isn't particularly fond of Kyle's relationship with Stan but she knows it makes Kyle happy so she deals with it. When Stan gets to the Broflovski household, he uses his manners as much as he can so she'll at least think he's mannerly. 

They eat at Kyle's house and then got to Kyle's room. A while back, they'd somehow convinced Kyle's mom that it was fine to leave them with the door closed. That doesn't mean she's not always alert though. "How've you been doing, man?" 

Stan doesn't know whether to lie or not. After moment, he finally hesitantly replies. "I've been doing better than usual." Which is half of the truth. They haven't gotten to have a real talk since they've been back together so he's not surprised when Kyle asks, "what's been going on lately?" 

"My grandpa died." Kyle has a sad, guilty expression. "Oh. I'm so sorry. I didn't kno-" "Exactly. You didn't know. So don't blame yourself. You had no idea what was going on and you wouldn't have unless you asked me directly. It's fine."

"So, when's the funeral?" Kyle asks. "Tomorrow," Stan replies, "you're invited." Kyle nods, showing he gets the offer. "Do you want me to go?" Stan looks down and hides his face. Why does he have to cry, damnit? It'll only make Kyle worried. 

But despite his protests, tears start streaming down his face. He tries to make his voice come out normal and manly but instead, he sounds like a crying child. "Yeah. I-," he takes a few breaths and sobs a little, "I would like that." 

Kyle nods and hugs Stan protectively, as if the world is trying to hurt his boyfriend. "Okay," says Kyle. Kyle needs to find out the time of the funeral but he'll wait until Stan's calmed down. He doesn't want to upset the teen any more. 

Stan can't stop crying. He's only ever able to cry like this in front of Kyle and by himself. He's never had a breakdown around anyone else besides family before. He sniffs and when he's done crying, Kyle kisses him. They kiss for what seems like heavenly eternity before they break off and hold each other.

They lie down in Kyle's bed and fall asleep like that. 

The next day is Marvin Marsh's funeral. Stan has to leave Kyle's house to get dressed for it but he immediately comes back when he's done because he smells the alcohol on his dad's breath and hears the cries of his mother. 

Kyle pulls Stan into a tight hug and they had to the funeral. It's 4 PM and a rainy day. It's a very stereotypical funeral. One you'd see in the movies. Cartman and Kenny are there and even though Stan doesn't remember inviting them, he admits he's glad to see them. 

Stan is immensely proud of himself for not doing any drugs before the funeral. He knows Kyle is too. His grandfather didn't quite understand his relationship with Kyle but he didn't reject it either. He just thought it had something to do with "what the government has been putting in our water."

Stan wasn't as close to his grandfather as he was to his Uncle Jimbo but that doesn't mean he lived him any less. His grandpa used to buy him all sorts of things because he thought they were for good prices. Stan and the guys found a way to get this to stop. 

And there was also that time where his grandpa got him to sell- Kyle squeezed his hand to get him out of his thoughts. Stan smiles at him thankfully. The funeral is over soon and instead of returning home, he and the boys go over to Kyle's house. 

The day ends bittersweet because even though his grandpa is dead, he still has his friends and boyfriend to count on.


	5. Stolen Weed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the beginning being rushed.

It's been half a week since Stan's Grandpa's funeral. His dad has gotten progressively worse. Stan doesn't know how bad Randy's gotten because he goes out of his way to avoid the man. He knows that he should be by his dad's side now more than ever.

But his dad is an asshole and he knows him well enough to know he's being an asshole more than ever right now so he, again, avoids the man. Well, at least he tries to. Three days later and it's the weekend which means his dad is off of work. 

Stan tries staying in his room all day but the isolation gets to him and he needs to leave. He goes downstairs, listening for anything that would make him want to continue isolating. He finds no reason to force himself back to his room and continues downstairs.

The smell of skunk fills the living room downstairs and Stan knows what it is. He should turn back to go to his room but he has the crazy idea in the back of his head to see if he can somehow steal the weed from his dad. He finds the couch his dad is sitting on and sees alcohol next to it.

The situation is perfect. His dad being both drunk and high means he might not remember this tomorrow. Stan walks around the couch quietly, hoping his dad is passed out and not just staring off into space. 

He gets a good look and his dad is definitely passed out. There's weed on the coffee table next to him. Stan goes to pick it up when something is blocking him from doing it. He can already hear Kyle's sad and disappointed voice. Shit. But he needs the weed for when he needs to prevent his own suicide one of these days. 

Stan sighs and caves in on himself. What should he do? Well, just because he takes the weed doesn't mean he's going to smoke it. He might throw it away or sell it along with his other drugs one of these days. He knows, in the back of his head, that he's coming up with excuses.

But having weed in case he needs it is better than having no weed which could result in his suicide. He sees his dad's finger move and panics. He comedically stands up straight and pretends to be acting normal. When his dad doesn't move again and shows no sign of opening his eyes, he quickly takes the weed and stuffs it in his pocket. 

I won't regret this, he tells himself, but it sounds more like he's convincing himself. Stan goes back to his room and hides the weed with the rest of his stash. He'd rather not admit it but he's scared his dad will find out he took his weed so he hides the stash better.

For the next few hours, he struggles with the urge to smoke the weed. He puts his head in his hands and regrets taking the weed in the first place. He craves the weed like a meth head craves meth. He's incredibly uncomfortable and his mind romanticises the weed.

Finally, he gives up on dealing with this himself and calls Kyle to spend time with him. Kyle goes over to his house this time. "What's wrong? You look pained." Kyle asks when they get to Stan's room. And Stan wishes Kyle wouldn't be able to read him so well. "My dad is passed out drunk and high on the couch again."

And it's true. The fact that his dad is passed out drunk and high does bother him. He wishes his dad wasn't a druggie alcoholic. Maybe if his dad wasn't a druggie alcoholic, he wouldn't be too. He's scared he'll be a self centered asshole like his dad too when he gets older.

"Yeah. I saw that," says Kyle. "I'm sorry, dude. Is there anything I can do to help?" Stan shakes his head. There's nothing Kyle can do to make him better. There's nothing anyone in this world can do to make him better. 

They look into each other's eyes. And Stan feels like he's peering into Kyle's soul. And his soul is so beautiful. He wonders what Kyle can see when he looks into his soul. Probably nothing but clouded darkness. 

He puts his head forward and lets Kyle meet his lips halfway. Their kissing progresses to the loss of their clothes and soon, they're having sex. 

When they're done lying in each other's arms, they take a shower. Stan's mom knows they have sex. She doesn't mind as long as they're safe about it. Stan's grateful to Kyle for helping get his mind off of everything. He hugs Kyle in the shower.

"I love you." 

"I love you too."

They look into each other's eyes lovingly. Kyle turns the shower off, they get dressed, and head to Stan's room. "Can you stay over tonight?" Stan asks. Kyle grabs his phone. "I don't know. Let's see." After a few minutes of speaking, Kyle flops himself onto Stan's bed.

"She said yes?" Stan guesses, referring to Kyle's mom. Kyle nods sleepily. Stan gets in bed with Kyle and they hold each other until they sleep.

"Where's my weed? Do you know how much that weed cost me?!" Kyle is pushing Stan awake. "Stan. Wake up. Your dad is going on a rampage." Stan wakes up just as footsteps ascend the stairs. The door to his room bursts open and Randy Marsh shows his angry red face.

He hasn't seen his dad this mad in a while. Usually, he takes his anger out on his mom. She knows how to calm his dad down but he doesn't know how to react in a way so his dad will stop being so angry. He puts his body protectively in front of Kyle's. 

"Stanley. Where the fuck is my weed?!" Stan doesn't know what to say. Should he lie or should he be honest? He knows how absolutely upset Kyle will be if he finds out he didn't throw all of his drugs away. He sticks to his lie. "I don't know, dad!"

Randy enters his room and it's no surprise to smell the alcohol on him. "Are you talking back to me?" His dad asks. "What? No," says Stan nervously. "Oh, yeah? Then, why did you raise your voice?" His dad pathetically kicks at a pile of his clothes and even though it looks almost comical, the situation makes it intimidating.

Stan feels how tense Kyle is and he feels bad that this was happening. This is all his fault. If he hadn't taken his dad's weed... "It'll be okay," he tells Kyle. "I'll deal with this." "Are you saying you have to deal with me, Stan? That's a bitchy thing to do." He waves his hands around and puffs out his chest.

"Fight me, Stan. C'mon. Let's fight. Right here, right now." Stan gets up carefully. Randy takes this as a threat and stumbles forward, swinging an arm at him. "Dad. I'm not trying to fight you." "Why are you a pussy? I did not raise my son to be a pussy." 

He points at Stan idiotically. Again, if the situation wasn't serious, it would all be funny. "Dad. I didn't take anything." "Oh, yeah? Then, where'd my weed go?" And that's when Stan realized that he won't get out of this without fighting his dad. Or unless his mom or sister come in but they're both out right now. 

"Alright," Stan says. He stands his ground, faces his dad, and, without turning to look at Kyle, tells his boyfriend to get out of there. Kyle looks like he wants to object but he does so anyway after seeing the seriousness in Stan's eyes.

Stan has the advantage here. His dad is drunk and he's stumbling around the place. He'd rather not hurt his dad so he tries fighting him without applying much energy, yet still getting him to back off. He pushes his dad against the wall and it feels wrong.

Stan's having a harder time fighting his dad than he thought. His dad is the man of the house and he recognizes that. It's intimidating to face the man who has power and control over him but he has to. Even though he tells himself he has to, he finds himself dodging his dad's arm swings, not fighting back. 

Only when his dad has a hold of him does he really start fighting. He grabs his arm, trying to get him to release his hold on his arm. "Dad. Stop." Then he starts punching at his dad's arm. Randy's hand is practically super glued onto him.

While Stan's dad has his hold on his arm, he takes the chance to swing at him. His fist hits against Stan's cheek. Hard. 

It hurts. Stan's hand that was struggling against his dad's hold is now gripping his painful cheek. Tears come to Stan's eyes but he refuses to be a damned crybaby. He lets anger seep into him and as his anger comes back strong, so does his confidence.

This time, he makes getting away from his dad become his number one goal and he'll do whatever he can to make that happen. He lowers his head and bites his dad's arm as hard as possible. His dad's free arm starts punching his head and grabs onto his son's hair, trying to make him stop biting.

The biting becomes too painful and Randy let's go. Stan know his face and head will be all bruised later but he accepts that punishment. He takes this chance to leave but when he's almost out his door, something grabs onto his leg and he trips, falling onto his face.

His dad flips him over, sits on his waist, and starts beating the shit out of him. He puts his arms up to defend himself but Randy's punching everywhere much too fast for him to block. He kicks his legs, trying to get the man off of him. 

After a minute, he starts punching back, doing everything he can. It's a ridiculous thought but he's scared he'll die. He doesn't know when this will stop. Then, he hears footsteps and hopes to God that it's his mom. Hell, he'll even be grateful if it's his sister. Then, he hears a second pair of footsteps. And then a third.

"Holy shit, dude. You weren't kidding. I'm gonna take a picture" It's Cartman's voice. He feels his father getting pushed off of him and quickly opens his eyes to see what's going on. Cartman and Kenny are holding his dad back while Kyle rushes over to him.

"Are you okay, Stan? I'm so sorry for leaving you. I got the guys to come help." Cartman sits on his dad and for the first time in a long time, Stan is grateful for Cartman's heavy weight. Kyle holds Stan in his arms. "He really beat the shit out of you, dude," says Cartman.

Kenny agrees. 

And of all times to become self conscious, he worriedly looks to Kyle and asks, "does it really look that bad?" Kyle just holds onto him, refusing to let go. Then, quietly, he says, "you need to go to the hospital."

Kyle stands up and says, "I'll drive." Cartman and Kenny let go of Randy and rush out of the house with Kyle and Stan, helping Stan walk.


End file.
